Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Just for me

I'm guessing that this is really just for me. Something has been bothering me for several years if not most of my life - depression. My highs are very low and my lows, well they can't get much lower. Of late it's been low after low after low and they take hole and don't easily change. It's been a deep feeling that I am all alone in this world and that it's getting more lonely every day. Not good. There are the few nice days that someone calls or visits but for the most part I am alone as Scott works from Noon till 11 for the most part. Yepp, I am one of "those" and Scott and I have been together for over 25 years. If you don't approve I have a fist you can sit on and rotate, I'm old now and don't need approval. Yes, meds have been used ending in a drugged out state or wondering where the gun is hid. So it's try to keep busy and not wonder what I did wrong.

This week I started making clay beads for a rosary gift for Yule. If I do say so they are looking nice. Started with a roll of black, twining a tiny strip of gold all around it and even small amount of white. When rolled and shaped they are looking like marble with tiny veins and I really like how it is looking, enough to take pictures later on. Also been cutting out material for X Stitch projects I want to start, need to start to have done by Yule. Most of them are easier type patterns that bring something to mind for me of the person it is being created for.

Tomorrow will be work in the garden day. Plan to transplant some plants from other beds and put them in the beds around the arbor (one of my favorite spots, right near the pond). Yesterday was another day off and we got all the rabbits wormed, worked on some cages that were in bad shape. Also went to our local Corky Bell's Seafood for lunch. It was a touch over average, but is right on the St Johns River so the view was wonderful and restful and their Ice tea is fantastic, doesn't need sweetening at all, just lemon.

I made supper last night, a form of glop. Browned some sausages cut up with sliced onions, added peas and mushrooms, cream of mushroom soup and thyme and paprika, touch of salt, plenty of pepper and all over homemade egg noodles. It was so good. We got a mini fruitcake out of the freezer for dessert. Tonight is Lean Cruises.

Ok, depressed, time to do a project. Don't Cry For Me Argentina.

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