Things came to me today

It still hasn't sunk in that Peacer is not asleep behind a chair, but something did sink in and it wasn't pleasant either. Of all the "friends" I have on FB only 5 cared enough to say anything. That along with the couple that read the blog and said something nice came up to less than 10. These other people - some call me family, close friend but couldn't be bothered to even say Sorry. I guess I'm not family or friend enough for as much as I am sorry. I try to say something when people loose someone/thing so close to them that they are in real pain, but couldn't receive it returned to me. PEOPLE! This was my closest companion for a month less than 14 years. This pain is real. Thanks to the ones that understood and cared, rest of you - well I just hope this whole thing never happens to you. First the loss and then the rejection by the people that requested me as a friend.

Peacer K

We just buried Peacer Kitty, my companion of the past 13 years. She came to live with us when she was about 5 days old and her mother had been butchered by a dalmation.

Fastly she decided the only place to sleep was in the crook of my arm and her days were spent at my side. What do you say about a friend like this? Never have I felt so lost before.

I finished the canning for the day at 8:53 PM, yes I am tired. I decided to call my grandmother as she would get excited over all I got done - would be proud and would really let me know it. And after that I would call mom - she would fake being excited about it. I would wonder what she really thought. Then I realized they are both gone; Grand went in the early 80s and mom the late 1990s. What was I thinking? I hadn't ever thought about this, not once, since they died. And I know I haven't cried yet and doubt I ever will unless it's for the loss in general. Mom was the Prince song "When doves cry" beginning to end - maybe I'm just like my mother, she's never satisfied. I don't see me much like her. I praised my kids for everything they accomplished no matter how small it was, I tried to be supportive in all they wanted to do and the fantastic things they have done. Not that easy for a kid of 18 to do when he is handed his 2 kids and told to raise them and I did, alone and with no assistance, nothing. I worked 3 jobs and put myself thru college to make a better life for us and our lives were pretty _ _ _ _ nice. Maybe I was looking for that returned love from them and it was returned 3x's in fold. I miss those days, I miss being young and not knowing what was happening around me. Now, I am getting older daily and it is taking it's tole on me and ya know what? Except for the aches and pains, the inconveniences of health issues it's been a really good road and I am happy having white hair, using a cane a lot! and I love senior discounts. Do it over? This life? Sure, it's worked well for me and if it ends what I will be sorry about is missing so many people and how their lives travel the road.

Want to do something for an old fart? Once in a while tell me about your road and give me a hug or 2, there are never enough hugs.

A Tuesday

I am very grateful for all the garden is giving us, but it seems it's slowing down way too early and should have loads more to come. Today we put up 2 pints green beans, 4 pints of pole beans and not from the garden 29 pints of corn. Have the cobs boiling to have corn stock to can. Also, have enough yellow tomatoes for a batch of jam and a few cukes to make a couple pints of pickles and enough for 3 or 4 pints of water melon pickles later this evening. BUT! I should be getting buckets of beans along with buckets of cukes and tomatoes. Grateful, but I want it all.

Have noodles drying for supper, can't wait. Love those noodles.

June 2

Today was more of the same, canning and I am loving it. We needed to rebatch the zucchini jam and now it is setting up perfect. Got a few pints of green beans, cuke sweet chunks, and zucchini with tomatoes.

A friend came to pick up a bunny and brought us a case of dried (?) bananas and a big case of canned foods. It is a saver for us. Another friend sent some fertile eggs to hatch and NATURALLY the incubator wouldn't work! Well, they won't go to waste, we were out of eggs to eat.

Now to figure out 100 ways to use all those bananas!