Here yesterday and gone today

So much has happen since June, but I doubt anyone read that and I doubt this one will be read either. Everyone has their lives to live and must do so.

Since June I lost my home and my car and not because I was lax or anything like it. They were taken from me. The end of April we are moving to a tiny place that Scott loves and I don't. I don't want to be there and I will be more a prisioner than I am now. Definately not doing my life my way. Several people say leave, don't put up with it. Trust me that was my reaction for a long time, but HOW? It's not that easy, I don't have any savings cause each time I did something came up. I don't get enough money to live on unless I went to a nursing home. Did I mention that to do this"move" that I - ME has to give up 3/4 of my things including things that were my great grandmother's things in the 1800s. Seemed like every item I said I was keeping was a fight.

I thought I had made friends in the World of Rabbits, wrong thinking - turns out that at a show earlier this month I was a choice topic of evil doings and lack or quality in my herd. Bull, my rabbits did well and were great producers. And I gave over and over of myself to these people, I promise you that it will never happen again.

Another person has slammed my knowledge of horse things. Oh, that didn't travel well. I have 58 years of breeding, raising, showing, and WINNING on a National level.

During my life I have raised and raced shed teams, had a dairy farm, goat dairy too, raised most every animal I could, homesteaded and farmed from small to big and I learned alot. I made and canned my first jams at 6 years old, same year I did pickles and later I baked and sold that product in greade school. So stop treating me like an idiot because I am old.

Yes, onething good did happen, but not without a price - wasn't spoken to for days, constant put downs of myself. I got a puppy. God, I must be evil to be tired of spending 20 hours a day alone. I got a 8 week old Chihuahua, she is a real love and became devoted to me very fast. She is so much like her that I have call her Peacer several time which leads to some tears.

Then there is the on going heath issues. None seem to be getting better and pain levels have increased. I have been offered morphine for the pain, so far I have been able to say no. Don't want to go that way again, the old days weren't good in that department.

The last 4 days have been spent trying to sleep sitting up because I got a cold. Now there is rattles when I cough, which isn't that good a thing, but right now I can't even get to the doctors.

So where do I go from here? Wish I knew.

Things came to me today

It still hasn't sunk in that Peacer is not asleep behind a chair, but something did sink in and it wasn't pleasant either. Of all the "friends" I have on FB only 5 cared enough to say anything. That along with the couple that read the blog and said something nice came up to less than 10. These other people - some call me family, close friend but couldn't be bothered to even say Sorry. I guess I'm not family or friend enough for as much as I am sorry. I try to say something when people loose someone/thing so close to them that they are in real pain, but couldn't receive it returned to me. PEOPLE! This was my closest companion for a month less than 14 years. This pain is real. Thanks to the ones that understood and cared, rest of you - well I just hope this whole thing never happens to you. First the loss and then the rejection by the people that requested me as a friend.

Peacer K

We just buried Peacer Kitty, my companion of the past 13 years. She came to live with us when she was about 5 days old and her mother had been butchered by a dalmation.

Fastly she decided the only place to sleep was in the crook of my arm and her days were spent at my side. What do you say about a friend like this? Never have I felt so lost before.

I finished the canning for the day at 8:53 PM, yes I am tired. I decided to call my grandmother as she would get excited over all I got done - would be proud and would really let me know it. And after that I would call mom - she would fake being excited about it. I would wonder what she really thought. Then I realized they are both gone; Grand went in the early 80s and mom the late 1990s. What was I thinking? I hadn't ever thought about this, not once, since they died. And I know I haven't cried yet and doubt I ever will unless it's for the loss in general. Mom was the Prince song "When doves cry" beginning to end - maybe I'm just like my mother, she's never satisfied. I don't see me much like her. I praised my kids for everything they accomplished no matter how small it was, I tried to be supportive in all they wanted to do and the fantastic things they have done. Not that easy for a kid of 18 to do when he is handed his 2 kids and told to raise them and I did, alone and with no assistance, nothing. I worked 3 jobs and put myself thru college to make a better life for us and our lives were pretty _ _ _ _ nice. Maybe I was looking for that returned love from them and it was returned 3x's in fold. I miss those days, I miss being young and not knowing what was happening around me. Now, I am getting older daily and it is taking it's tole on me and ya know what? Except for the aches and pains, the inconveniences of health issues it's been a really good road and I am happy having white hair, using a cane a lot! and I love senior discounts. Do it over? This life? Sure, it's worked well for me and if it ends what I will be sorry about is missing so many people and how their lives travel the road.

Want to do something for an old fart? Once in a while tell me about your road and give me a hug or 2, there are never enough hugs.

A Tuesday

I am very grateful for all the garden is giving us, but it seems it's slowing down way too early and should have loads more to come. Today we put up 2 pints green beans, 4 pints of pole beans and not from the garden 29 pints of corn. Have the cobs boiling to have corn stock to can. Also, have enough yellow tomatoes for a batch of jam and a few cukes to make a couple pints of pickles and enough for 3 or 4 pints of water melon pickles later this evening. BUT! I should be getting buckets of beans along with buckets of cukes and tomatoes. Grateful, but I want it all.

Have noodles drying for supper, can't wait. Love those noodles.

June 2

Today was more of the same, canning and I am loving it. We needed to rebatch the zucchini jam and now it is setting up perfect. Got a few pints of green beans, cuke sweet chunks, and zucchini with tomatoes.

A friend came to pick up a bunny and brought us a case of dried (?) bananas and a big case of canned foods. It is a saver for us. Another friend sent some fertile eggs to hatch and NATURALLY the incubator wouldn't work! Well, they won't go to waste, we were out of eggs to eat.

Now to figure out 100 ways to use all those bananas!

Canning has begun

WELL! Canning season has begun. Yesterday we had a counter covered in mostly zucchini, yellow squash and cukes. We now have a counter with just picked spaghetti squash. We put up 16 pints of zucchini Bread & Butter pickles, grated and froze squash for 6 batches of zucchini bread (a favorite of ours) and got 19 1/2 pints of zucchini jam which will have to be re batched. Someone didn't listen to me as I was making the pickles and doubled the jam recipe which just doesn't set up. Ok, nothing major, but will have to be done. Also, got 5 pints of cuke Bread & Butters and a batch of cucumber salad too.

Scott has never liked pickles like Kosher dills which is why I always do so many B&Bs, but I like them and always out up a few jars just for me. Last night he served some of my Kosher Garlic Dills with supper and he LOVED them. Well, hog tie me and brand me with an W!

As you can tell, the garden is doing great and is starting to feed us which we need until the pay checks are coming in regularly again which will be in a couple weeks. Till then - good thing I stocked up.

His new job is going well and he is enjoying it so far. We are still hoping he will get the Palatka store instead of the St Augustine store because of the gas spent. We will see in a few weeks when training is done. Best part is that he has become the person he used to be and in very involved with the garden, rabbits and all things part of our small scale homesteading life.

Mean while, I have had to do with out meds, including insulin, then redoing the days on what I take on each day to make things last longer. My meds take 3/5s of my SSI check, so it has become difficult to handle. I am experiencing general weakness in arms and legs along with what comes with skipping meds. But that is how life has to be till Sept. when I get Medicare.

Peacer Kitty is somehow hanging on. I just can't handle the idea of letting her go when she isn't in pain, but the poor thing has wasted away to bones covered with skin. She still wants her loving and ice water and is as loving as ever and I fear the day she is gone. I don't know how I will get by sanely without her.

Vacation

We are almost done with our unplanned 2 week vacation. Loosing a job sure hit us when it was a bad time, BUT when they get better they really get better. New job starts Monday; better pay & day hours are enough to be jumping in air for. And there will be a bonus, but quarterly rather than monthly.One week day off and SUNDAYS! Can deal with that!

We have gotten so much done in the time off, the place is amazingly changed to lookin good. 2 pascked truck loads to the landfill are gone, new dirt floor in the lean to (future meat rabbit area), cannas weeded and some moved, berries all planted today. Each day there seems like 3 projects get finished. Trouble is each day 5 more projects appear. Garden is doing so well that I know we will be canning a nice amount. In our latest planting the green beans and corn are coming up. Tomatoes are covered with babies, peppers too. Cukes are difficult to see thru all the blossoms. Pickles! Eggplants are blooming along with the black chowder beans. Just blooms or fruits everywhere you look.

Lost a couple bunns, I think it was the heat. Even with fans and ice bottles they seem to have problems. I have 8 baby dwarfs and 6 are sold, 4 satin babies and 3 are sold, 1 meat baby, if it's a doe we will keep it for a brood doe. The good thing is the other 2 dwarf babies and the other satin baby are ones I wanted to keep.

Now for a complaint - IT'S TOO HOT for May, feels like July! Seriously, it's too hot.

Sadness

Am I the only person who feels a sadness over the death of Ben Laden? No, the man deserved to die and needed to be stopped, but he was sentenced to death before a court trial, shot un armed while shielded by his woundered wife. It seems to me that there was no reason he couldn't have been captured and brought to justice for all the wrongs he has done to the people of the world. How is that any different from us going there to kill not capture him?

As I said he needed to be stopped, but, how was this true closure for anyone that lost someone on 9/11? He was an old man with many health issues. This wasn't a trophy win or some fantastic happening. It was the death of an old man that should have stood in front of his peers and hear what he did and how he would pay for his deeds.

Ok, yes, I am a tree hugging liberal, but I support the death sentance for many types of crimes, including this one. I have never depiested anyone the way I do George W Bush for what he cost us in lives for his little revenge plan and his part in the deaths of so many persons with HIV and so many other things. Laden deserved to die and he did, but where is our honor in the way he died?

Not much happening of late

It's being a slow week, not much going on which can really be nice. I am planting 4 yellow tomato plants in a few that turned into a trade but we were just giving to the other. I gave 4 Cubana peppers or some name. These are the ones that get real big and can be stuffed.

Rabbit show on Saturday. Wish there wasn't but oh well.


3 hours later, came in covered with ants, couldn't even find the bed. But things got done and kept the hose on me.

April, 2011

WOW! I have skipped posting for a long time. So very much has been happening.

Let me see where to begin - start with the bad. My dear, Peacer K, rapper Kitty to the stars is dying, slow but no pain. She is so thin now with this illness. Hurts me and there are so many tears, but she isn't in pain and I want her with me as long as I can.

Last night an evil racoon got in the chicken coop and killed a beautiful Buff roo. I think we scared him off. Had some wonderful new friends with me and they worked in his enterance and exit areas. I have a hen setting so egg count has really dropped as there aren't many other hens - YET!

Rabbits are doing very well in the producing side as well as at shows. My chocolate Satins have won several Best of Breed awards. Very excellent.

The GARDEN! WOW! It is really going well this year thanks to the help of friends who weeded, brought me plants, and did so much more just because I needed help and couldn't do it myself. If the rain co operates I will be getting more tilled tomorrow and some more things planted. Wonderful. Some times it's also just so nice to have people to just talk to about things. Speaking of tomorrow, Scott is getting his arm tattoo finished, I am getting a portrait of Peacer done and 2 rabbits are getting their ear tattoos fixed - - thanks to the wonderful work of the multi talented Evy. And she makes house calls!

Still talking about gardening. My 3' high raised beds are doing very well. The longest one is packed with tomatoes of several types and colors, then a bed of peppers, eggplant and Brussel Sprouts, 3 rd bed was green beans and the seed wasn't great so replacing it with Cubano peppers and next week cukes. The 4th and final of these beds is packed with cukes and I think they are what I am most eager to taste. In front of this bed on a bench are blackberry and raspberry plants that aren't ready to plant.

In the main garden behind the chicken coop nestled between ares of trees and hidden things are really going wild. Corn is pretty tall (putting in more tomorrow), Black Chowders are doing great, different squash are looking nice and growing more everyday. I added 18 more tomato plants there so I now have a total of 48 plants. Should be enough to can too. I started a compost pile near it, but with the chickens there just isn't much to add to it, so need to rack some leaves and like that. Right now it is pure poo.

Been making more and more of the citrus type soaps. The lemon and the orange have become top sellers. I have enough clear (shine to many) that I will be starting several extracts next week when I will have the peels, pods and all to start them. Sourdough starter is in the making for then too. For some reason I kept putting it off and now is the time to start several different ones.

Started making water kefir again. I like it and it is good for you. Makes a great summer drink. There are several other projects I plan to start then too. Reason I think, that I put things off is that I just knew this would be a busy week and there is a Bunn show on Saturday and I am going. Hope the Satins keep doing well.

This is enough to try and understand after such a long time absence. Will admit that I did miss the blog JUST A VERY SMALL LITTLE BIT.

Why

Why is it that when I hit "post" I am never sure how it will come out? I had it spaced great and looking so nice and this is what I was given. Oh well, Peacer and Bee look great.

FFC Royality

I thought I would take a moment to introduce the queens of FFull Circle Farm.





This is: Peacer, Peacer K, Peacer Kitty (when she's naughty). And she has her humans just where she wants them. Loves ice water & chin rubs, snuggles on her terms. tolerates being held like a baby and getting tummy raspberries. She is getting along in years and don't know how the place would run with out her.

This is Bee, she recently gave me 4 of the sweetest Netherland Dwarf babies ever. Bee loves nose rubs and likes tummy rubs and to chew on your finger nails.

Last fall a group I belong to on a return to simple living had a gathering and it was at our home. Here are some pictures of the group. That day we had lessons in soap making - both home and laundry, weaving and spinning, no knead bread and so much more. We had a pot luck meal with some of the best dishes I have ever tasted (home cooks are still the best). These were taken inside as it was in the mid 90s outside.

Been a while

It's been a while, long while actually. I'm just going to use nothing going on as my excuse.

Health wise - my leg blew out again and it was healing really good, doing what the good doctor told me to do, but it was still seeping more than I want to think about. He said to keep i dry, but that didn't seem to be really working so out came the plantain, comfrey and olive oil. Made a paste and did a poultice. It was doing a very nice job and then the drainage was black and I mean black. 4 days of this and it started healing correctly and I used my homemade BooBoo salve and Doctor was impressed at the healing. I FINALLY got the results of all the x rays they could last Feb. Could have called me, but didn't. FINALLY, I know what is wrong with my back. I am so happy to be able to say that there is degenerating disk or two and arthritis is setting in. Ok, that makes; both shoulders, R elbow & wrist, both thumbs and entire left leg. BUT now I know what is wrong with my back. I am very happy about that.

I made 2 wonderful trades with the rabbits; first is for a bunch of laying hens and a civil rooster and the other is for labor and some chickens. Made a great trade - not only getting help BUT we like them and they seem to like us. We needed to redo all the chicken housing and Scott wanted to do it all by himself. Right, but I know how he works and his work shedule. One day every other day would have taken a couple months. Bobby & Patty came and the ENTIRE project was finished in less than 4 hours. Can you believe that? And I now have a covered outside run and a nice inside coop that reminds me of a doll house. Very functional and I really am so happy with how it all turned out. I will take pictures after the chickens arrive.

Garden talk time. It is doing just great. I have 3 1' 4x4deep raised 3' up and one 4x8 2' deep bed raised to 3 feet. They are FANTASTIC. I filled them to inches from the top with bunny poo and covered with top soil and they are producing just fantastic. Early was 2 kinds of radish, lettuce, beets, and swiss chard. The big bed has comfy and lemon grass which will go to the herb bed when I decide where to have it, green beans, eggplant, yellow squash and zucchini with a couple tomatoes. I have a temporary herb bed covered with dill, sage, pineapple sage, chervil, thyme and a few others. I have peppers, green, yellow and sweet banana peppers in planters on each side of a bench. Have cukes in a 30 gallon tub and they are climbing all over the picket fence. I put a good number of basil plants with the tomatoes in 30 gallon pots that are just huge and growing crazy! All the pots were done the same way, manure to the top and finish with top soil.

We have so many project that need doing. The pier and dock need new covering of boards, fire pit has massive pile to burn and then will need digging out. The shop needs a cement floor and the other parts need cleaning out and the outside lean to of the shop needs a new floor and 6 new roof panels.

It's hot, but we finally have central air and heat again! House still gets warm, but very bearable and I can stay warm next winter too. Truly 2 "good things."

Truly I have nothing I can complain about. All has been going up hill and better and better.

OH, can't forget the animal members of the family. The outside kitties are well, the bunns are doing fantastic, and the queen still rules the house as it should be. Seems like friends are doing better too. Just happy today.

A new year and it has come in a big way - a blue moon and it hasn't stopped pouring since last year. It was a quiet entrance here. There was a good amount of work happening and no one felt like cooking dinner so our last meal of the year was at Huddle House, far from the worse place in town.

I added this picture of Chocolate Chip and Baby Dumpling because although he looks a little nervous he was anything but afraid of her as they were just grooming each other. My wish for all of us in this new year is that we all will have friendships that care and nuture us this much.

We managed a brief look at the blue moon before the storms happened and it was a moon to wish upon and to plan the future with. And I did. We had de Cristmas'ed the house the day before and all that know me will be shocked but I was more than happy to see it go. It had been a depressing holiday for me this year. I really missed those big Christmas get togethers from when I was young.

We finally lost the gardens for the year, all we had was tomatoes and peppers. Picked them all and there ae some grand green peppers there. All we had in tomatoes were green, I see a couple meals of Fried Green Tomatoes and, I guess, I will pickle some or something - many tiny ones. At least I get to can something.

May 2010 be everything you need it to be.

Merry Ho Ho Ho

Things are just about over. Here are 2 pictures of ornaments on the Prissy tree. Scott loves the birdcage and bird and I love the older striped one.













We had to change last night's dinner plan due to unexpected company and had the oyster/mushroom stew for lunch today and it was just perfect and so very filling.

This morning we had pancakes and then went to the barn to feed and I got to play with the babies. One totally adorable one soaked my shirt, not just wet it, but that tiny thing soaked me. Then we came in and opened our presents to each other. I got the last 2 Harry Potter movies I was missing and some fantastic cookies, my favorite Springerles. There was a lot more, things like balls for the bunns and cutting boards they can rest on. All good things. Scott got clothes for work, his favorite cookies (white chocolate macadamias nut), colognes galore and I think he really liked the little photo album I put together for his confirmation. Scott took a nap and I made lunch. Much later was a fast and so easy dinner and then I fell asleep. There are more people to see for Christmas 2009 but I consider it another successful Yule. And I hope yours was too.

The day before Christmas

Twas the day before Christmas and all thru the house not a creature was stiring except for ME! I have a full day ahead of me. Below is a batch of soap I need to wrap, actually there are 36 more bars on the other side of the kitchen. Then I need to make Scott's favorite holiday dish, MY special cranberry sauce. Have to wrap presents today and later make tonights dinner - oyster/mushroom soup with a loaf of a thick crusted bread, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie. Lucky Scott, he gets to work.



Here is our last tree, the prissy one. It is covered with glass ornaments with gold, silver, and my fancier vintage ornaments. It truly is a lovely tree and my favorite each year. May you all have a Wonderful Christmas

2 more days

ALRIGHT! Only 2 days left and they are going by so fast. Here is a small collection of mine that I really enjoy. Well, DUH! Of Course there is a story behind my Gurley candles.

Grandma had some Gurley candles and I loved playing with them. When they down sized they disappeared, ALL except for 3 choir singers and I started replacing them maybe 10 years ago. She had some of the larger deer and the skating snowmen in a larger size and so far that is the only one I haven't been able to find.

3 more days

Wow, just 3 more days until Christmas morning. I am really looking forward to it. I hope your's is wonderful and full of great moments.


First this morning is our mantel. I really enjoy it as it gives me somewhere to hang sockings from. From the left is; Scott's with Buddy on it. Buddy was an orange Netherland Dwarf rabbit we used to have. He was the friendliest bunn ever. Then is mine with a white hen on it, no one I ever met. Peacer Kittie's you can't see - it's a massive purple velvet with white fur cuff and best be full. She loves the scent of moth balls. No joke, we had them in with all the ornaments, etc and she went wild with some that became her toys. Sadly the scent is gone and she doesn't like them anymore. Scott's and mine were made by Wonderful Fabric Artist in Canada (Hi Marilyn!)

Here is a closer view of mine, it shows how much work it took. LOVE IT

Ok, you knew there would be a story somewhere, didn't you? Here is is. WE made the topiaries ourselves and Scott swears he is not crafty at all. He fibs.

Here is the other side of the mantel.

This is Scott's tree and it is totally a Yule tree. Very natural ornaments with little birds and bird houses, fruit, and the like including an outhouse he stole from me. It really is a very nice tree. It started as all fruit and vegetables after I showed him a picture of a tree of Jeff Smith's with all fruit and vegetables and he was impressed. After a couple years he started adding the birds and things to go with it. I think he does an excellent job with it each year.